So I feel like it has been a while since I last blogged and even then that they were not very helpful.
Well here I sit still in the grey not sure which to turn to. The grey sucks, and I must confess that there are lots of things pulling me to both directions. After talking to a very beloved friend, who advised me to be honest, I am going to be honest.
As I sat in work the other day on a lunch break with a co-worker and a friend they noticed my tattoo on my arm the one I have in Hebrew. They started asking me about it and when I told them it was a name for God they were intrigued. They asked me if I was religious, and I found myself telling them I was not sure. I told them I believed the teachings of the Bible, but if it was something I was actually going to follow, I was unsure about. It shocked me as soon as it came out of my mouth.
Having time to think about this statement (and having talked with my beloved friend) I have decided to not ignore the fact that I am ignoring God right now. Instead I am going to be open to God about the fact that I am ignoring him right now, and maybe whatever my questions are and whatever my anger (if I have any towards him) is then maybe I will be able to deal with it and then choose how I want to live.
Maybe many of you do not understand, but I am on a mission, and I am going figure this out. I am sick of people telling me the same old things over and over. It is not helpful (sorry though I do know you are trying to help) it makes me angrier then anything. So I am going to honest with God and tell him flat out I am ignoring. I will stop ignoring the fact that I am ignoring him. I will be honest with him (because he already knows) that I am ignoring him because I want to, because I am sick of rules and sick of feeling guilty and perhaps I might be angry towards him.
Lets see where this takes me.
Cheers,
Abby
No comments:
Post a Comment